Blessed Good Friday.  Last night our family assisted at the Holy Mass of Maundy Thursday where we were reminded of the great need for priests.  Father also reminded us of the great void left by those not fulfilling their calling to spiritual fatherhood - both at the Altar of God as well as the threshold of the home.  With that in mind I am posting Pope Pius XII's address to a group of Italians supporting large families.  I believe the calling spoken of in the Holy Father's message is the "cup" that must be accepted by today's Christian couples as they state emphatically with Christ, "Not my will but Thine be done!"

THE LARGE FAMILYBeloved sons and daughters, Officers and Representatives of the Associations for Large Families-of Rome and of Italy, this visit of yours has to be listed among those that bring deepest pleasure to Our heart.

You are well aware of the lively interest We have in family life, of how We never miss an opportunity to point out its many-sided dignity, to re-assert its rights and defend them, to inculcate the duties it involves—in a word, We make it a key-point of Our pastoral teaching.

It is this same anxious interest in families that makes Us agree so readily to spend at least a few moments with family groups that come to Our home (whenever the duties of Our office do not make this impossible), and this is why, on occasion, We consent to be photographed in the midst of them, so as to leave some kind of lasting record of Our joy and theirs.

Father of the human family 
The Pope in the midst of a family! Isn't that right where he belongs? Isn't he (in the loftiest spiritual sense of the word) the Father of the whole human family that has been reborn in Christ and in the Church? Is it not through him, the Vicar of Christ on earth, that the wonderful plan of creative Wisdom is put into effect — a plan that has conferred on all human fatherhood the destiny of preparing a chosen family for heaven, where the love of the One and Triune God will enfold them in a single eternal embrace and give them Himself as the inheritance that will make them perfectly happy?

A triple testimony
But you do not represent just any families at all; you are and represent large families, those most blessed by God and specially loved and prized by the Church as its most precious treasures. For these families offer particularly clear testimony to three things that serve to assure the world of the truth of the Church's doctrine and the soundness of its practice, and that redound, through good example, to the great benefit of all other families and of civil society itself.

Wherever you find large families in great numbers, they point to: the physical and moral health of a Christian people; a living faith in God and trust in His Providence; the fruitful and joyful holiness of Catholic marriage.

We would like to say a few words about each of these points.

Surely, one of the most harmful aberrations that has appeared in modern society with its pagan tendencies is the opinion of those who are eager to classify fruitfulness in marriage as a "social malady," and who maintain that any nation that finds itself thus afflicted must exert every effort and use every means to cure the disease. This is the basis for the propaganda that goes under the name of "planned parenthood"; at times it is promoted by persons and organizations who command respect because of their positions in other fields, but who, unfortunately, have taken a stand in this matter which must be condemned.

Birth control
Sad as it is to realize how widespread doctrines and practices of this kind have become, even among the traditionally healthy classes, it is comforting to see indications and proofs of a healthy reaction in your country, both in the legal and in the medical fields. As you know, article 31 of the current Constitution of the Italian Republic, to cite just one source, pays "special attention to large families," and the prevailing teaching among Italian doctors is along a line of opposition ever more strongly against birth-control practices.

This does not mean that the danger has passed and that we have destroyed the prejudices which tend to make marriage and its wise norms submit to the aims of reprehensible pride and selfishness on the part of society or of individuals. We particularly deplore that section of the press that every so often takes up the question once again with the obvious intention of confusing good people and drawing them into error with misleading evidence, questionable polls, and even falsified statements from some cleric or other.

Obedience to nature's laws
On the part of Catholics, We must urge the wide dissemination of the principle, firmly founded on truth, that the only way to protect the physical and moral health of the family and of society is through whole-hearted obedience to the laws of nature, or rather of the Creator, and most of all by fostering a sacred, heart-felt respect for them.

In this matter, everything depends on the intention. You can multiply laws and make the penalties heavier; you can give irrefutable proofs of the stupidity of birth-control theories and of the harm that comes from putting them into practice; but as long as there is no sincere determination to let the Creator carry on His work as He chooses, then human selfishness will always find new sophistries and excuses to still the voice of conscience (to the extent it can), and to carry on abuses.

Now the value of the testimony offered by the parents of large families lies not only in their unequivocal and forceful rejection of any deliberate compromise between the law of God and human selfishness, but also in their readiness to accept joyfully and gratefully these priceless gifts of God—their children — in whatever number it may please Him to send them.

This kind of attitude frees married couples from oppressive anxieties and remorse, and, in the opinion of outstanding doctors, creates the ideal psychological conditions for the healthy development of children born of the marriage. For, right at the beginning of these new lives, it eliminates all those worries and disturbances that can so easily leave physical or psychological scars on the mother or child.

Apart from exceptional cases and We have had occasion to speak of these before — nature's law is basically one of harmony, and it leads to discord and contradictions only in cases where its normal operation is upset by particular circumstances which are for the most part abnormal, or by deliberate opposition from a human will. There is no eugenics that can improve upon nature: it is good as a science only so long as it aims at gaining a profound knowledge of nature's laws and respects these laws — although in some cases it may be wise to dissuade people who suffer from serious defects from getting married (cfr. Enc. Casti connubii, Dec. 31, 1930: A.A.S. 22 (1930) p. 565).

Physical and moral health
Again, good common sense has always and everywhere looked upon large families as a sign, a proof, and a source of physical health, and history makes no mistake when it points to violation and abuse of the laws governing marriage and procreation as the primary cause of the decay of peoples.

Far from being a "social malady," large families are a guarantee of the moral and physical health of a people. Virtues flourish spontaneously in homes where a baby's cries always echo from the crib, and vice is put to flight, as if it has been chased away by the childhood that is renewed there like the fresh and invigorating breath of spring.

So let the weak and selfish take their example from you; let the nation continue to be loving and grateful toward you for all the sacrifices you have taken upon yourselves to raise and educate its citizens; just as the Church is pleased with you for enabling her to offer, along with you, ever healthier and larger groups of souls to the sanctifying activity of the divine Spirit.

II
In the modern civil world a large family is usually, with good reason, looked upon as evidence of the fact that the Christian faith is being lived up to, for the selfishness that We just pointed out as the principal obstacle to an increase in the size of a family group cannot be successfully overcome without recourse to ethical and religious principles.

In recent times we have seen how so-called "demographic politics" have failed to achieve any noteworthy results; it is easy to see why, for the individual interest will almost always win out over the collective pride and selfishness which this idea so often expresses, and the aims and methods of this policy debase the dignity of the family and the person by placing them on the same level as lower species.

The light of Christianity
Only the divine and eternal light of Christianity gives full life and meaning to the family and this is so true that right from the beginning and through the whole course of its history, large families have often been considered as synonymous with Christian families.

Respect for divine laws has made them abound with life; faith in God gives parents the strength and vigor they need to face the sacrifice and self-denial demanded for the raising of their children; Christian principles guide them and help them in the hard work of education; the Christian spirit of love watches over their peace and good order, and seems to draw forth from nature and bestow the deepest family joys that belong to parents, to children, to brothers and sisters.

Even externally, a large, well-ordered family is a kind of visible shrine: the sacrament of Baptism is not an exceptional event for them but something constantly renewing the joy and grace of the Lord. The series of happy pilgrimages to the Baptismal font is not yet finished when a new one to Confirmation and first Communion begins, aglow with the same innocence. The youngest of the children will scarcely have put away his little white suit among the dearest memories of life, when the first wedding veil appears to bring parents, children, and new relatives together at the foot of the altar. More marriages, more Baptisms, more first Communions follow each other like ever-new springtimes that, in a sense, make the visits of God and of His grace to the home unending.

Trust in God
But God also visits large families with His Providence, and parents, especially those who are poor, give clear testimony to this by resting all their trust in Him when human efforts are not enough. A trust that has a solid foundation and is not in vain! Providence — to put it in human words and ideas — is not a sum total of exceptional acts of divine pity; it is the ordinary result of harmonious activity on the part of the infinite wisdom, goodness and omnipotence of the Creator. God will never refuse a means of living to those He calls into being.

The Divine Master has explicitly taught that "life is worth more than food, and the body more than clothing" (cf. Matt. 6, 25). If single incidents, whether small or great, seem to contradict this, it is a sign that man has placed some obstacle in the way of divine order, or else, in exceptional cases, that God has higher plans for good; but Providence is something real, something necessary since God is the Creator.

Overpopulation
The so-called problem of overpopulation of the earth is partly real and partly unreasonably feared as an imminent catastrophe for modern society; but undoubtedly the rise of this problem and the continued failure to arrive at a solution of it is not due to some mix-up or inertia on the part of divine Providence, but rather to disorder on man's part — especially to his selfishness and avarice.

With the progress that has been made in technology, with the ease of transportation, and with the new sources of energy that are just beginning to be tapped, the earth can promise prosperity to all those who will dwell on it for a long time to come.

As for the future, who can foresee what new and unsuspected resources may be found on our planet, and what surprises may be uncovered outside of it by the wonderful scientific achievements that have just barely begun? And who can be sure that the natural rhythm of procreation will be the same in the future as it is now? Is it not possible that some law that will moderate the rhythm of expansion from within may come into play? Providence has reserved the future destiny of the world to itself.

It is strange to find that the fears of some individuals are able to change well-founded hopes for prosperity into catastrophic spectre at the very moment when science is changing what used to be considered the dreams of wild imaginations into useful realities.

So overpopulation is not a valid reason for spreading illicit birth control practices. It is simply a pretext used by those who would justify avarice and selfishness — by those nations, for instance, who fear that the expansion of others will pose a danger to their own political position and cause a lowering of the general standard of living, or by individuals, especially those who are better off, who prefer the greatest possible enjoyment of earthly goods to the praise and merit of bringing new lives into existence. The final result is that they break the fixed and certain laws of the Creator under the pretext of correcting supposed errors on the part of His Providence.

It would be more reasonable and useful if modern society would make a more determined, universal effort to correct its own conduct, by removing the causes of hunger in the overpopulated or "depressed areas," through a more active use of modern discoveries for peaceful aims, a more open political policy of collaboration and exchange, a more far-seeing and less nationalistic economy; above all, by reacting to all suggestions of selfishness with charity, to those of avarice with a more concrete application of justice.

God is not going to ask men for an accounting of the general destiny of mankind; that is His business; but He will demand an accounting of the single acts that they have deliberately performed in accordance with or against the dictates of conscience.

As for you, parents and children of large families, keep on giving a serene and firm testimony of your trust in divine Providence, and be assured that He will not fail to repay you with the testimony of His daily help and, whenever necessary, with those extraordinary helps that many of you have been happy to experience already.

III
And now a few words on your third testimony — words that may give new strength to those who are fearful and bring you a little comfort.

Large families are the most splendid flower-beds in the garden of the Church; happiness flowers in them and sanctity ripens in favorable soil. Every family group, even the smallest, was meant by God to be an oasis of spiritual peace. But there is a tremendous difference: where the number of children is not much more than one, that serene intimacy that gives value to life has a touch of melancholy or of pallor about it; it does not last as long, it may be more uncertain, it is often clouded by secret fears and remorse.

Happiness in a large family
It is very different from the serenity of spirit to be found in parents who are surrounded by a rich abundance of young lives. The joy that comes from the plentiful blessings of God breaks out in a thousand different ways and there is no fear that it will end. The brows of these fathers and mothers may be burdened with cares, but there is never a trace of that inner shadow that betrays anxiety of conscience or fear of an irreparable return to loneliness, Their youth never seems to fade away, as long as the sweet fragrance of a crib remains in the home, as long as the walls of the house echo to the silvery voices of children and grandchildren.

Their heavy labors multiplied many times over, their redoubled sacrifices and their renunciation of costly amusements are generously rewarded even here below by the inexhaustible treasury of affection and tender hopes that dwell in their hearts without ever tiring them or bothering them.

And the hopes soon become a reality when the eldest daughter begins to help her mother to take care of the baby and on the day the oldest son comes home with his face beaming with the first salary he has earned himself. That day will be a particularly happy one for parents, for it will make the spectre of an old age spent in misery disappear, and they will feel assured of a reward for their sacrifices.

When there are many children, the youngsters are spared the boredom of loneliness and the discomfort of having to live in the midst of adults all the time. It is true that they may sometimes become so lively as to get on your nerves, and their disagreements may seem like small riots; but even their arguments play an effective role in the formation of character, as long as they are brief and superficial. Children in large families learn almost automatically to be careful of what they do and to assume responsibility for it, to have a respect for each other and help each other, to be open-hearted and generous. For them, the family is a little proving ground, before they move into the world outside, which will be harder on them and more demanding.

Vocations
All of these precious benefits will be more solid and permanent, more intense and more fruitful if the large family takes the supernatural spirit of the Gospel, which spiritualizes everything and makes it eternal, as its own particular guiding rule and basis. Experience shows that in these cases, God often goes beyond the ordinary gifts of Providence, such as joy and peace, to bestow on it a special call — a vocation to the priesthood, to the religious life, to the highest sanctity.

With good reason, it has often been pointed out that large families have been in the forefront as the cradles of saints. We might cite, among others, the family of St. Louis, the King of France, made up of ten children, that of St. Catherine of Siena who came from a family of twenty-five, St. Robert Bellarmine from a family of twelve, and St. Pius X from a family of ten.

Every vocation is a secret of Providence; but these cases prove that a large number of children does not prevent parents from giving them an outstanding and perfect upbringing; and they show that the number does not work out to the disadvantage of their quality, with regard to either physical or spiritual values.

Vigilance and action
One last word to you, Directors and Representatives of the Associations for Large Families of Rome and of Italy.

Be careful to imprint the seal of an ever more vigilant and fruitful dynamism on the action that you intend to carry out in behalf of the dignity of large families and for their economic protection.

With regard to the first of these aims, keep in line with the directives of the Church; with regard to the second, you have to shake out of its lethargy that part of society that is not yet aware of its social responsibilities. Providence is a divine truth and reality, but it chooses to make use of human cooperators. Ordinarily it moves into action and comes to our aid when it has been summoned and practically led by the hand by man; it loves to lie hidden behind human activity. While it is only right to acknowledge that Italian legislation can legitimately boast of being most advanced in this area of affording protection to families and especially to large families, We should not close our eyes to the fact that there are still a considerable number of them who are tossed back and forth between discomfort and real privation, through no fault of their own. Your action must aim at bringing these people the protection of the laws, and in more urgent cases the help of charity. Every positive achievement in this field is like a solid stone set into the structure of the nation and of the church; it is the very best thing you can do as Catholics and as citizens.

Calling down the divine protection upon your families and those of all Italy, placing them once again under the heavenly protection of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, We impart to you with all Our heart Our paternal Apostolic Blessing.  Pope Pius XII

A roll of the eyes.  A side-ways glance.  A secret gesture.  A behind-the-scenes mocking.  Blowing off a request.  Ignoring.  Slighting.  Avoiding.

Some people have made the above a modern art-form of spousal warfare.  It may be done in public, for the approval of other men or women, or it may be done in the privacy of your own home.  It may even be done in front of one's children.  The question is...why?

As a business person I see this quite a bit in my day-to-day dealings with employees.  You make a simple request as their employer and you get a snicker, a roll of the eyes, and later you learn they were complaining to another associate about the request.  "I am not going to clean the restrooms...I am a licensed professional...I didn't go to school so that I would have to clean the bathrooms!"  Later, you will discover that either they "sucked it up" and cleaned the restrooms or they just refused and will wait to see if you hold their feet to the fire.  It seems that the art of avoidance has reached epic proportions!  Of course this happens both from the rank and file to the leaders in management.  

I have always appreciated people that were straight-forward and "frank".  While some may be put off by this directness and bluntness, I have always preferred the more direct route.  This of course has caused me no little trouble, but it has also been a great blessing.  My team, my children, and of course my wife, all know exactly what I am thinking and know what to expect from me (most of the time!).  I have been nicknamed the hammer for being so direct and blunt, unfortunately, this can also be seen as conceded, prideful, and egotistical.  I continue to learn how to be a better leader, while at the same time being clear and forthright.

This desire for "frankness" has also led me to question why so many spouses willingly "throw their spouse under the bus"?  Why do we attempt to make our spouses look bad, silly, and out-of-control?  I see this quite a bit when I am mulling around with other men.  Some men have developed the idea that it is somehow manly to belittle their wife in public.  (I also have seen many wives do the same thing, so ladies, you are not off the hook!)  I have been part of uncomfortable discussions that are revealing disturbing details of homes that are less than ideal Christian homes where there are constant passive-aggressive power plays.  Why would any man (or woman) want their spouse to look bad?  What about the whole, two in one flesh thing?  Isn't your spouse a reflection on you?

In business I hear many managers complain of troubling associates.  They complain that Suzie isn't doing her job, or Tommy never comes in on time, or Joe refuses to learn a new program.  Then comes the question, "Well, what are you doing about it?"  You get the shy, "Well, I yelled at them." or "I told them once about it...but they just won't so I gave up." or better yet, "I wrote them up and stuck it in their file!" (Of course, they never showed the associate the write-up and never discussed it with them...how helpful is that!?   All of this is avoidance, the inability to confront a wrong.  Ultimately, it is a fear of disapproval and a lack of compassion for the person.  Leaders must learn true compassion, that is, to suffer with the person, while at the same time confronting the bad behavior, and coaching them to the established goals.

It is no different in the home, albeit, when you add love, you add a whole new dimension.  As men and fathers we must always have true compassion for our charges, that is our wife and children.   We must learn to suffer with them, but that doesn't mean taking their place.  Sometimes we must allow our spouse, (or children) to go through a time of suffering in order to grow as Christians.  Pregnancy is a time when the mother must suffer, and yet the father is often powerless to "change" anything.  This does not lessen his need to be compassionate to his wife.  He must suffer with her internally.  This compassion does lead to better leadership and he can then serve in his manly capacity to alleviate what suffering he can.  This compassion also has a very important role in leadership.

Compassion in leadership, particularly in the home means that the husband and father will have a solid understanding of the suffering taking place in his domain.  He will not slough off the little battles that his wife goes through every day to cook, clean, and tend to the children.  He will understand how much she does, how hard she works, and how much she suffers.  This compassion helps him to know just how much his manly leadership is needed.  His exclusive devotion to his wife leads him to be a bastion of strength, fortitude, and decisiveness.  She needs him to make decisions, set goals, and guide the family through the turbulent waters of the modern world.  She needs him to be bishop, doctor, manager, friend, mentor, guide, and of course, totally devoted to her.  What she doesn't need is someone that mocks her and tries to make her look bad in front of his friends.

Ultimately, when a spouse belittles the other spouse in front of others, he or she is flaunting their own failures.  They are bragging about how poor of a spouse they are and how sickly the home current is.  They are saying that leadership in the home is lacking, both spiritually and physically.  The be-littler is saying, "I am a failure and my home is a mess, isn't that funny?!"  No, I am sorry, it is sad...let's pick up the reins and try again.  After all, practice makes perfect and giving up accomplishes only failure.

So, I am entering a new phase in life.  No, it isn't middle age, although it isn't far off.  It is that stage when I watch my oldest son throw my youngest son up in the air and am finally learning not to panic.  It is the stage when I honestly can't believe my son will soon start to shave.  Yes, it is the stage of being a newly christened father of a teen, or as I prefer to say, a new adult man!

This stage is a whole new world that other parents have been prepping me to dread for years.  "Enjoy them when they are little"  I was told over and over again.  "It goes by fast!" I was reminded throughout the past 14 years.  Of course the pessimists always added, "It all goes downhill from here!!!"  I always took this to mean that teenagers were horrible, wretched beasts that tormented even the best Christian home.  They were vile, smelly, selfish goblins sent to punish the sins of my own youth...right?

Well, now I am here, watching my son become a man.  He has not had to go through many of the horrible experiences I went through that formed me into a rebellious teen.  We are not having to go through the fights over hair, clothing, music, and friends that tore my relationship with my own parents asunder.  In fact, so far, so good, as the cliche goes.

As this blog is about manhood, I would be remiss to not include some thoughts on fathering a young man.  They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  I already see so much of myself in my son.  What else will he imitate?  Am I providing a good model for him to imitate?  Am I myself imitating Christ, so as to model true Christian Manhood for all of my children?  Let's face it, at some point we realize that we are soooo much like our own fathers, for good or ill.  It is tied to the way we learn.  Sure we can choose to live differently, especially if we were raised in a less than ideal family.  But most of us, will at some point come to the conclusion that much of what we do as a knee-jerk reaction is based on what we learned from our own parents.

So, will my son learn to be a coffee fanatic?  Will he enjoy homemade guacamole as much as I do?  Will he be struck by motorcycle flu every spring, and yet fight his way through until the weather finally gives up the ghost?  Will he love jazz?  Will he love to paint?  Will he love his spouse more than life itself?  Will he pray ardently for his children?  Will he love to read and learn something new everyday?  Will he pray?  Will he learn to love?  

The biggest question on my mind these days is:  Do I give him enough to imitate to truly live a life given over to Christ and to love God with his whole heart, soul, and strength?

The battle for purity is life-long and involves numerous skirmishes...some won, some lost.  One must first face up to the fact that purity requires manly strength and commitment to the battle.  One can never shy away from the battle, or indeed the battle is lost.

This battle for purity may be likened to defending a castle stronghold. How so?  Well first, if we are true men of Christ we should, by our faith and life of grace built a strong wall of defense in our life.  This involves disposing of the enemy so that he no longer is able to abide within our castle (or cloister?).  This wall is also our insulation from the onslaught of the world, meaning that we have pushed the world from our souls in a way that keeps our kingdom free from its influence.   This wall of defense is built stone by stone through a lifetime of gracefilled commitment to Christ and faithful living out of the call of our King.

Secondly, the wall is only as defensible as its points of entry.  Do we leave our castle vulnerable by leaving the gate wide open and unguarded?  Are the sentries on guard and walking the top of the wall and turrets to keep an eye out for advances of the enemy?  Is our castle supplied with the necessary provisions to endure a siege of the Enemy?  Have we added defenses to our wall to ensure the impenetrability of our fortification?  

These questions related to the battle for purity should make us think that a castle's defense is only as strong as its weakest point of entry.  The famous Trojan Horse allowed the enemy to penetrate within the city's fortified walls.  If our gate is unbolted and unguarded, our castle shall soon fall.  In other words, are entire spiritual life can come crashing down in one instant by failing to bolt the gate...by failing to keep watch!  Who among us has not experienced the frustration of a committed life of grace thrown away on a fleeting moment of weakness?!  That is a lost battle.  

Most often, it is not a great struggle, but rather a shock, as if we didn't see it coming...why, usually because the little acts of faith, hope, and charity had given way to little acts of selfishness, laziness, pride, and self-love.  We fail to bar the gate when we refuse to do the right, and most often hard thing by choosing instead to hang on to selfish comforts like entertainment (think TV, movies, music etc.)  Watching a 2 hour movie causes a man to embrace pacifism for a brief moment and allow his virility to be squandered on fantasy.  Four hours of watching football also wastes a man's energy and virility and something fleeting and meaningless.  These seemingly "little" things slide the bolt back on the castle gate, leaving it wide open for the entrance of the Enemy.

While the gate may be bolted, if the wall is not watched and a sentry posted, the wall runs the risk of being overrun.  While a strong wall is a great benefit in the battle, the Enemy can easily scale it with his machines of war.  We may keep our wall strong by avoiding fruitless entertainment, and by building a strong wall through faith and penance, but without the sentry all may be lost.  The "sentry" is a life of prayer and study.  Prayer, as Christ hinted to in the Garden of Gethsemane, is watchfulness.  By dedicated time and effort to our relationship with Christ we grow more watchful for the little attacks of the Enemy.  If we were to fall asleep and not keep watch with Christ, as did Peter and the other apostles, we run the risk of losing site of the vision Christ has for us.  We may run away, just as Peter and John did, when attacked.  

Men, the bottom line is this:  The battle is won through little means.  The skirmishes and attacks will continue until the day we breathe our last.  These battles require our fortifications to be strong, but also our preparations to be wise.  If we tend to the "small" things, our victory is assured.  FIGHT ON!

Below is the link to an excellent and straight-forward list of suggested Lenten Penances broken down by our specific roles in life.  I think these are excellent starting points for our Lenten meditation.  Please give it a thorough read and some time in prayer.  You can also learn more at Catholicism.org
http://catholicism.org/suggested-lenten-penances.html?utm_source=MailingList&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Ad+Rem+178 

"The Creation of Catholic Culture is a lay and fatherly competency. It is the responsibility and duty of family men to lead not only their families but the Catholic lay community as well.  However, fathers today too often take a back seat to their priests and wives in this fatherly duty.  Though the priest is called to exhort the faithful to conversion of lifestyle and holiness, it nonetheless remains the familial father's responsibility to detail and enforce particular standards for his family.  While the priest's competency is sacraments and doctrine; he should not have to be the substitute head of the family nor the lay community.  Nor are wives to take responsibility for creating Catholic culture.  The wife's competency is the internal care of her family; she too should not have to be the substitute head of the family or the lay community, for she is its heart.   It is the familial father who is commissioned by God to head the family, to set familial standards, and, in conjunction with other fathers, lead and set the standard for the Catholic community.

There is no excuse for a father's abdication of this duty.  For it is he alone that has the charism to lead the family. It is the father who is charged with applying the faith to the world and its contingencies.  It is the father who must be on the cutting edge of Catholic militancy, especially today when the world rages against the family as never before. Indeed, when danger threatened the Holy Family itself and leadership and action were required, the angel of God bypassed the High Priest Our Lord Jesus Christ and the Blessed Mother and spoke to the head of that family: St. Joseph, the Light of Patriarchs.

Conversely, Christian men have a specific area of concern which is not the ecclesial politics that so permeates the Church today, especially in traditional circles.  Our primary concern and competency is the creation of Catholic familial culture.  Under the leadership of the father the family's degree of Catholicity is only limited by the willingness of its members.  Families can be as Catholic as they choose within their home: in their spirit, thoughts, words, actions, and lifestyle.  Above and beyond ecclesial politics and the various issues entailed there in, it is in the familial and cultural arena that we as men manifest the militancy of their Catholicity and prove their adherence to tradition."   Dilsaver