Families of the Great Commandment presents:

“How to love God with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole mind and your whole strength”
(Mark 12:30)

Is it a sin to wear pants?           (A woman's guide to modesty)
Genesis 1:27        “...male and female He created them.”

This scripture is a revelation of the Divine Will. There are two distinct genders. The physical manifestations of each gender are confirmed and revealed through clothing.

Since God willed that there be two distinct genders, then one gives the greatest Glory to God by choosing those clothes that best convey the true essence of my gender. One gives glory to God by choosing those clothes that best cover and veil the physical characteristics specific to each gender.

Because of her shapely form, becoming nature, sweetness, the practical needs of a woman, as well as the gift of motherhood which requires that she be cherished and protected, the feminine gender is most clearly expressed in a full skirt and blouse or a complete dress including sleeves, modest neckline and sufficient length to cover one's knees when seated. This is the ideal.

One can recognize immediately its timeless beauty, modesty and loveliness. It is appropriate at all times and in all places. Its adaptability through a thoughtful choice of fabrics, for both home, (family, children and chores), company or adoration is exceptional. By choosing these garments, I protect my femininity from being brutalized by masculine attire. I keep veiled what belongs to God as a temple of the Holy Ghost. I keep veiled what belongs to my husband alone, if I am married. I am not a temptation to men and give good example to my children, if I have a family.
I tell God I love Him by uniting my garments to His revealed will for me in my gender. I show God I love Him each day , all day, at all times by always and only wearing those clothes that convey the true essence of my gender. I show God I love Him with my whole self. I give witness to His revealed truth.

I show Jesus I love Him by mortifying my desire to wear whatever I want and instead submit my will to His revealed Will. I give up my desire to fit “in” to what the world promotes which lacks propriety (propriety means “conveys true essence”). I sacrifice my desire to “fit in” by wearing what others are wearing. I mortify my self-love in wanting to appear appealing to others and draw attention to specific areas of myself.

Dressing in conformity to God's revealed will brings peace. It simplifies my wardrobe. Besides, pretty, feminine clothing is fun to wear. This way of dressing not only brings out the best in me but also brings out the best in others.

We are commanded by Jesus Christ Himself to “love God with our whole mind, Our whole heart , our whole soul and our whole strength. In other words “our whole self”. This is the Great Commandment. It is a command to love to the Maximum.

Therefore, the question about “is it a sin to wear pants” is not about loving God to the maximum. It is not saying to God- “What more can I do to show you I love you?” It is not interested in the maximum- only the minimum.

We are commanded to deny ourselves, pick up our cross daily and follow Christ. By wearing the feminine ideal in clothing, I emulate Christ and crucify my own opinions and desires and conform myself to the Father's revealed will for me. Loving God to the maximum. I become more and more like Christ crucified and compromise less and less everyday, becoming more and more Catholic. Restoring the kingdom of Christ in my soul.

For help making this change and embracing this cross or for more information on why this change matters: Go to CrucialCatholic.com

3 Comments

  One day, when I found the not so uncommon scene of an argument between a few of my children, I called them together and gave them a talking to.  I do believe that that moment was a moment of grace.  When talking to them, I found myself struck with how important it was to impress upon my kids that our home is where it counts, and that our thoughts, words and actions at home are more important than any that we might do outside of it.  I gave them simple reasons why, but Our Lord in His goodness seemed to afterwards want to teach me more about this important point.  I found much to confirm and ponder on this topic in three interesting places: the work of G.K. Chesterton, the life of St. Theresa of the Child Jesus, and the novel Theopholis by Michael O’Brien. 

              Here is what Chesterton has to say about family life in the home, “When we defend the family…we mean that it is the theatre of the spiritual drama, the place where things happen, especially the things that matter.”    He describes the family as a small community where our companions are chosen for us as opposed to a large community where we can choose our companions.   He goes on to explain the advantage of the small community by depicting two very different persons; first a local village worker, let’s say a blacksmith and second, a world traveler in a world travelers club.  The village blacksmith engages his neighbors constantly, both personally and in business.  He has to be aware not only of the ins-and-outs of the lives and personalities of his neighbors from whom he earns his daily bread, but also must be aware of larger national issues that might affect the fascinating microcosm that he lives in.  However, the world traveler in the world travelers club surrounds himself with those who think and live just like him.  In this narrow existence the world traveler “says he is fleeing from his street because it is dull; he is lying.  He is really fleeing from his street because it is a great deal too exciting.  It is exciting because it is exacting; it is exacting because it is alive.”  He proposes to go hunt lions in Africa.  In actuality, engaging a lion for this world traveler is far less terrifying than engaging old Ms. Simpson with the crooked nose who might need his help or scold him. What a great mental picture of why being committed and active in home and family is not living in a small world but a large universe.  In it we engage reality!

              Many times, the best religious come from good homes because traditional communities and orders are modeled after the family e.g. titles like Abbot (Abba or Father) Mother, brothers and sisters.  This is not an accident.  As Catholics we understand that the family is made after the pattern of the Trinity.   The family structure and hierarchy just works, so of course these religious communities adopt a similar organization.  It makes sense then that young people from traditional Catholic families are more open to this possible call and if they are called into the religious life they tend to thrive because the way of life is familiar (literally). 

              In our present American, immoral, consumerist culture, it can be very hard for families to find examples of faithful, traditional Catholic families to look up to.  We should consider looking to traditional religious communities to help us.  Just as they have been patterned after a traditional familial hierarchical structure, we can structure ourselves like them.  I know I have had to stop in my tracks sometimes as a mother and ask “what would a Mother Superior do?”  or “Would that book be appropriate on the shelves of a monastery?” or “Is this an opportunity to show obedience to God by obeying my superior (husband)?” or “Am I using my authority lovingly and to good ends or am I lording it over my children?”  St. Augustine actually calls fathers the Co-Episcopi or brother bishops in the domestic church.  This is something beautiful and rich to ponder.  It raises the bar and raises the dignity of family life.    

St. Therese is a wonderful example of how her young home life aided her in becoming the Saint that we look up to so much.  Her “little way” was not revealed to her by an angel, it was taught to her by her family in the use of sacrifice beads.  It was during these younger years that she learned the horror of disappointing her father with her pride and where she developed a repugnance of disappointing her Heavenly Father with pride.   She watched, and became aware of that same father’s quiet, hidden sacrifices (abstaining from wine).  It was in her home where she watched her sisters take on the huge task of being other “mothers” to her and her father.  It was during these years that she learned the value of prayer and was given a heart for poor sinners.  She prayed intensely for the conversion of a particular sinner who was condemned to death, and it seems the Lord wanted to impress upon her the importance of her prayers by granting her the consolation of knowing that the man was spared from hell.  The Martin family made home “count”.  Would we have a St. Therese of the Child Jesus if they did not?

Nazareth.  The name of that town is enough to cause a quiet to rest on the soul and a mental  gazing at the little home of the Holy Family.  The writer and iconographer, Michael O’Brien, did some of this gazing and incorporated fictional glimpses of the Holy Family’s home life into his novel, Theophilos.  Here are a few of these glimpses.   Mary being watched by teen girls who recently lost their mother as she attentively makes a small cake with such care and attention for a feast day.  Thinking that the cake was for Joseph and Our Lord they were surprised to find it on their table.  Joseph, on finding that a boy of their village no longer had a father to take him to synagogue, humbly and quietly takes this on.  Jesus as a young man teaching a mentally handicapped youth how to make bricks for fire out of dung so he can support himself and his mother.  This process took a long, long time of patient teaching.  The mother upbraids the Lord and wonders why he would teach her broken son a trade that was so disgusting and that would bring more ridicule.  The Lord expresses that these bricks will provide light and heat to others and earn pay for food, also, that this work would not blemish the young man’s pure heart.   These are just a few of the glimpses.  Was the hidden time in Nazareth wasted?  Never!  The Holy Family made home “count”. 

There seems to be a false or mistaken sense of being an active and participating Catholic.  We run from Mass to Youth Group to Confession to works of charity to prayer groups etc.  Don’t get me wrong!  All of these things can be good, but must be ordered.  Why do we do them?  We receive Jesus our food (Communion) and ask his forgiveness (Reconciliation) to strengthen us to grow in virtue.  Where is the God given place to grow in these virtues?  Home!  Where we offer charity and compassion to Jesus in, as Mother Teresa would say, the distressing disguise of the poor [aka our family] and then offer God true worship.  Then this full life should spill over into youth group, charities, etc. if there be time.  

 In conclusion, we should make home the best place this side of heaven because Home is Where it Counts!

posted by Mrs. Fifelski

"Does it not strike you as a surprising fact that Catholic parents so often [not surprising in these days where this is the norm] urge their children to do what is asked of them from merely human motives and that everything about their homes tends to nourish ambition and luxury?  They tell them how such and such a man of obscure birth has made himself famous by his eloquence [or sports ability, good looks, or goofy reality show stunts] or has acquired great riches and has married an heiress, that he has built himself a magnificent house and lives envied by all.  Such examples are held up [more like forced upon] to the children, but the parents never think of talking to them of those who are great in the kingdom of heaven [ah, we'll leave that up to the priest on Sunday...].  If anyone else tries to speak of these things, the parents stop them as though they would spoil everything by such talk. [...just as long as the priest doesn't challenge us!]

There are mothers who take great care of their daughters' health [and appearance...] but little of their conscience.  Far from forbidding them foolish and even bad books, indecent dresses, undesirable friends, indecent pictures, plays [movies], and dances [and immodest, unladylike sports], they allow them these things and even sometimes force them on their children.

Do not such parents know that spiritual fornication is a crime among Christians; that a look may kill a soul and that a desire or thought is enough to rob children of innocence and grace?  [emphasis mine...pretty important point!]

Some mothers think that when they have brought a child into the world they have no further duty toward it.  They hand it over to a nurse [or daycare] who may pass on her own bad inclinations to the child with the milk which nourishes it.  From the hands of a nurse the child passes into those of a governess or tutor [or worse, a public or Catholic school!], who has perhaps been chosen without the parents' knowing if the person is good or bad! [I don't think the background check covers that - even in Catholic schools]

Yet marriage was instituted and is blessed only that children may be brought up in the fear of God.  If only parents would take the trouble, what could they not do for their children!"  [of course, this assumes parents are first open to life, and then actually open to parenting!]

On the education of children  -  Saint Claude de la Colombiere
comments in red - mine

New Catholic Femininity?

There seems to be a commonly understood “new” Catholic femininity.  This is exemplified in a new type of role model.  For instance, Sarah Palin is seen as a woman who “has it all”; a large family, cares for one with disabilities, outspokenly pro-life, an influential government position etc.  Catholic women cheer her on and tell their daughters to look up to this amazing example of new Catholic womanhood.  Women cried in despair when she was not made Vice-President.  Is not, however, the role model for all women Our Blessed Mother?  Did not she “have it all?”  Just sit a minute and compare the two types of womanhood.  Not to throw a shadow on the one, but to see how much changed the understanding of ideal womanhood has become.  How cheered the one is, and how misunderstood and unattainable the other is portrayed. 

       Let us look at these two ideals and I think we shall see some striking contrasts.  It should also be noted that these contrasts could in many ways be adapted to even men because the Church encourages them to meditate on Our Lady and grow in devotion to her.  It is women, however that are called on to have her maternal charism. 

Today a woman is praised who speaks her mind and doesn’t hold back her opinion.  That sounds very different from the woman who “pondered these things in her heart.” Again the modern woman is one who actively and aggressively works towards agendas and policies, many times very worthy ones, in the schools and work places she is involved in.   Our Lady, however, seems to have perfectly used the naturally female abilities to be watchful, attentive and use her intuition to see and respond to the needs of persons, who have more intrinsic value, rather than policies or agendas.  Today’s catholic woman think they should gain self confidence, again this seems pretty different than the mistrust of self that is spoken of by the saints and the humility expressed by Mary as she said “I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to Your will.”  She had a mistrust of her own understanding but total confidence in God.  Women today are very busy, are taught to be self reliant, and to “get out there”, but a beautiful Acronym that sums up Our Lady would be AVE, Available, Vulnerable and Expectant. 

Available – she was and is ready to listen and respond to the persons around her, especially the Divine Persons.  She would need to be home to be that way.  Vulnerable – she was beautifully open and docile to The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost, so vulnerable that the mystery of the Incarnation could happen through her.  She expresses this vulnerability in her obedience to St. Joseph as well.  Expectant- she confidently awaited God’s grace, action and movement.  She was hopeful! 

This sounds like the ideal woman, the ideal mother!  This world desperately needs motherly hearts like this.  What grace could flood this world, how blessed and refreshed would be families if women would follow this model and block out the droning voice and model of the world.  May women follow the call: “And be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is good and the perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)

The following is a quote that really convicted me that the sin I commit doesn't just affect me...it also affects my children.  As I am duty bound to raise them in the saintly virtues and in the faith, I am also required to give them good example and protect them from "evil company".  How does this quote hit you?  This is a quote from Fr. Goffine's book, "The Church's Year" - a must have for every family!

"How do parents give scandal?
By giving their children bad example; by excessive anger, cursing and swearing; by avarice, injustice and cheating; by discord and quarrels; by gluttony in eating and drinking; by extravagance and vanity in dress; by sneering at religion, good morals, etc.; by not keeping their children from evil company, but sometimes even bringing them into it; by not punishing and endeavoring to eradicate their children's vices.  How much parents sin through such scandals, cannot be expressed; at the Day of Judgment their children will be their accusers!"

One day

     There was a traffic light

            Suspended

                   Hanging

      The light was red

              Brilliant

                     Crimson

I saw the Sacred Heart of Jesus instead

             That great heart

                   Beating to exhaustion,

                      Suspended, consuming itself,

                            “suffering so many things for my transgressions,-hanging on the cross

                                      with arms extended”    (Imitation of the Sacred Heart)

O Jesus, My Jesus

      I offer thee the Immaculate Heart of Mary

My Jesus,

    The Immaculate Heart of Mary

         The Immaculate Heart of Mary

             The Immaculate Heart of Mary

The light turned green

O Jesus, My Jesus

           I must go  -    maybe the next one will be red.



Mrs. Magdalene

It is within the home that the most splendid fruits of human existence blossom, indeed it is to domestic fruition to which a man's labors are finally ordered. It is in the home where the drama of life is lived out in all its richness. It is there that one can be truly human, truly oneself, spontaneous and without need of pretense. It is there that one can unabashedly celebrate and revel in life's profound and simple joys or mournfully enter into the mystery of its deepest sorrows. It is there that one can be as Catholic as one desires with no need for compromise. And it is there that the sublime process of sanctification slowly but surely takes place. In sum, it is the home where life can be lived to its fullest. Hence the Christian home is to be a place free from worldly aggression, power plays, and contention. It is to be a place of unity, love, and harmonious hierarchy. Accordingly the Christian patriarch must cherish first and foremost the woman of that home who is its very heart.  He must set her apart from the profane so she may flourish in modesty, gentleness, and holiness. And the Christian patriarch must strive to make it possible for his wife to be exclusively devoted to her home and family. (From Dr. Dilsaver's Three Marks of Manhood)

Home is Where It Counts

  One day, when I found the not so uncommon scene of an argument between a few of my children, I called them together and gave them a talking to.  I do believe that that moment was a moment of grace.  When talking to them, I found myself struck with how important it was to impress upon my kids that our home is where it counts, and that our thoughts, words and actions at home are more important than any that we might do outside of it.  I gave them simple reasons why, but Our Lord in His goodness seemed to afterwards want to teach me more about this important point.  I found much to confirm and ponder on this topic in three interesting places: the work of G.K. Chesterton, the life of St. Theresa of the Child Jesus, and the novel Theopholis by Michael O’Brien. 

              Here is what Chesterton has to say about family life in the home, “When we defend the family…we mean that it is the theatre of the spiritual drama, the place where things happen, especially the things that matter.”    He describes the family as a small community where our companions are chosen for us as opposed to a large community where we can choose our companions.   He goes on to explain the advantage of the small community by depicting two very different persons; first a local village worker, let’s say a blacksmith and second, a world traveler in a world travelers club.  The village blacksmith engages his neighbors constantly, both personally and in business.  He has to be aware not only of the ins-and-outs of the lives and personalities of his neighbors from whom he earns his daily bread, but also must be aware of larger national issues that might affect the fascinating microcosm that he lives in.  However, the world traveler in the world travelers club surrounds himself with those who think and live just like him.  In this narrow existence the world traveler “says he is fleeing from his street because it is dull; he is lying.  He is really fleeing from his street because it is a great deal too exciting.  It is exciting because it is exacting; it is exacting because it is alive.”  He proposes to go hunt lions in Africa.  In actuality, engaging a lion for this world traveler is far less terrifying than engaging old Ms. Simpson with the crooked nose who might need his help or scold him. What a great mental picture of why being committed and active in home and family is not living in a small world but a large universe.  In it we engage reality!

              Many times, the best religious come from good homes because traditional communities and orders are modeled after the family e.g. titles like Abbot (Abba or Father) Mother, brothers and sisters.  This is not an accident.  As Catholics we understand that the family is made after the pattern of the Trinity.   The family structure and hierarchy just works, so of course these religious communities adopt a similar organization.  It makes sense then that young people from traditional Catholic families are more open to this possible call and if they are called into the religious life they tend to thrive because the way of life is familiar (literally). 

              In our present American, immoral, consumerist culture, it can be very hard for families to find examples of faithful, traditional Catholic families to look up to.  We should consider looking to traditional religious communities to help us.  Just as they have been patterned after a traditional familial hierarchical structure, we can structure ourselves like them.  I know I have had to stop in my tracks sometimes as a mother and ask “what would a Mother Superior do?”  or “Would that book be appropriate on the shelves of a monastery?” or “Is this an opportunity to show obedience to God by obeying my superior (husband)?” or “Am I using my authority lovingly and to good ends or am I lording it over my children?”  St. Augustine actually calls fathers the Co-Episcopi or brother bishops in the domestic church.  This is something beautiful and rich to ponder.  It raises the bar and raises the dignity of family life.    

St. Therese is a wonderful example of how her young home life aided her in becoming the Saint that we look up to so much.  Her “little way” was not revealed to her by an angel, it was taught to her by her family in the use of sacrifice beads.  It was during these younger years that she learned the horror of disappointing her father with her pride and where she developed a repugnance of disappointing her Heavenly Father with pride.   She watched, and became aware of that same father’s quiet, hidden sacrifices (abstaining from wine).  It was in her home where she watched her sisters take on the huge task of being other “mothers” to her and her father.  It was during these years that she learned the value of prayer and was given a heart for poor sinners.  She prayed intensely for the conversion of a particular sinner who was condemned to death, and it seems the Lord wanted to impress upon her the importance of her prayers by granting her the consolation of knowing that the man was spared from hell.  The Martin family made home “count”.  Would we have a St. Therese of the Child Jesus if they did not?

Nazareth.  The name of that town is enough to cause a quiet to rest on the soul and a mental  gazing at the little home of the Holy Family.  The writer and iconographer, Michael O’Brien, did some of this gazing and incorporated fictional glimpses of the Holy Family’s home life into his novel, Theophilos.  Here are a few of these glimpses.   Mary being watched by teen girls who recently lost their mother as she attentively makes a small cake with such care and attention for a feast day.  Thinking that the cake was for Joseph and Our Lord they were surprised to find it on their table.  Joseph, on finding that a boy of their village no longer had a father to take him to synagogue, humbly and quietly takes this on.  Jesus as a young man teaching a mentally handicapped youth how to make bricks for fire out of dung so he can support himself and his mother.  This process took a long, long time of patient teaching.  The mother upbraids the Lord and wonders why he would teach her broken son a trade that was so disgusting and that would bring more ridicule.  The Lord expresses that these bricks will provide light and heat to others and earn pay for food, also, that this work would not blemish the young man’s pure heart.   These are just a few of the glimpses.  Was the hidden time in Nazareth wasted?  Never!  The Holy Family made home “count”. 

There seems to be a false or mistaken sense of being an active and participating Catholic.  We run from Mass to Youth Group to Confession to works of charity to prayer groups etc.  Don’t get me wrong!  All of these things can be good, but must be ordered.  Why do we do them?  We receive Jesus our food (Communion) and ask his forgiveness (Reconciliation) to strengthen us to grow in virtue.  Where is the God given place to grow in these virtues?  Home!  Where we offer charity and compassion to Jesus in, as Mother Teresa would say, the distressing disguise of the poor [aka our family] and then offer God true worship.  Then this full life should spill over into youth group, charities, etc. if there be time.  

 In conclusion, we should make home the best place this side of heaven because Home is Where it Counts!

Mrs. Fifelski