So, I am entering a new phase in life.  No, it isn't middle age, although it isn't far off.  It is that stage when I watch my oldest son throw my youngest son up in the air and am finally learning not to panic.  It is the stage when I honestly can't believe my son will soon start to shave.  Yes, it is the stage of being a newly christened father of a teen, or as I prefer to say, a new adult man!

This stage is a whole new world that other parents have been prepping me to dread for years.  "Enjoy them when they are little"  I was told over and over again.  "It goes by fast!" I was reminded throughout the past 14 years.  Of course the pessimists always added, "It all goes downhill from here!!!"  I always took this to mean that teenagers were horrible, wretched beasts that tormented even the best Christian home.  They were vile, smelly, selfish goblins sent to punish the sins of my own youth...right?

Well, now I am here, watching my son become a man.  He has not had to go through many of the horrible experiences I went through that formed me into a rebellious teen.  We are not having to go through the fights over hair, clothing, music, and friends that tore my relationship with my own parents asunder.  In fact, so far, so good, as the cliche goes.

As this blog is about manhood, I would be remiss to not include some thoughts on fathering a young man.  They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  I already see so much of myself in my son.  What else will he imitate?  Am I providing a good model for him to imitate?  Am I myself imitating Christ, so as to model true Christian Manhood for all of my children?  Let's face it, at some point we realize that we are soooo much like our own fathers, for good or ill.  It is tied to the way we learn.  Sure we can choose to live differently, especially if we were raised in a less than ideal family.  But most of us, will at some point come to the conclusion that much of what we do as a knee-jerk reaction is based on what we learned from our own parents.

So, will my son learn to be a coffee fanatic?  Will he enjoy homemade guacamole as much as I do?  Will he be struck by motorcycle flu every spring, and yet fight his way through until the weather finally gives up the ghost?  Will he love jazz?  Will he love to paint?  Will he love his spouse more than life itself?  Will he pray ardently for his children?  Will he love to read and learn something new everyday?  Will he pray?  Will he learn to love?  

The biggest question on my mind these days is:  Do I give him enough to imitate to truly live a life given over to Christ and to love God with his whole heart, soul, and strength?

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Innocents, a celebration of their martyrdom for Christ.  These little martyrs knew not Him whom they would die for.  These little martyrs could not make an expression of faith, except that they were to die at the command of a jealous ruler.  We rightly call these little ones, "Innocents" because they had not the ability to commit actual sin.  What of our little "Innocents" in our own homes?


"A voice in Rama was heard, lamentation and great mourning:  Rachel bewailing her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not."  Mt. 2:18

"But Jesus turning to them, said:  Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not over me;  but weep for yourselves, and for your children."  Luke 23:28

Now therefore, ye children, hear me:  Blessed are they that keep my ways."  Proverbs 8:32

This feast, embedded as it is, in the middle of the great octave feast of the Nativity reminds us of the great cost Christ paid for our salvation, as well as the cost to ourselves.  In the midst of our rejoicing comes the wailing of the mothers of Bethlehem.  One might wonder at how the Mother of Christ joined her tears to those of these poor mothers.  The loss of a child is a pain that not many are able to come to terms with, even after many years.  But what of those mothers that lose a child to sin, thus the death of the soul?


This death of soul seems to be less mourned my modern mothers and fathers.  How often do we overlook sin in our own children or even promote it through the activities, entertainment, and culture we thrust into our children's life?  I have often pointed out this obvious fact in regards to modern video games.  These, often extremely realistic games pull children into a fantasy world where they can kill and be killed, steal and rob, all in the name of reaching a high score, or simply for entertainment purposes.  Many toys could also be called out for similar problems, such as immodestly dressed dolls promoting anti-family values of consumerism, or toys grotesque and imitating demonic forms.  


As parents, we pay for these items, we go out shopping, we spend our hard-earned money for them, and why?  Have we so succumbed to the cult of entertainment as to forget what Christ said about thwarting the innocence of youth, "it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea."?  Mt. 18:16  These are harsh words coming from the One who could forgive those who had crucified Him!  How can Christ look kindly on those that could forever mar the innocence of their own children in the name of entertainment!


This is a hard word, especially in this day of modern technology.  Many parents fear their children will somehow fall behind the times if they are not up-to-date with the newest video games, cell phones, mp3 players, or social media outlets.  Many parents, unthinkingly, give into their children's desires in order to please them or be on a "friend" level with them.  These parents have believed the modern lie that by "friending" their children they will have a better opportunity to raise them.  Unfortunately, many modern priests and bishops have too fallen for this fallacy.  One must not be either extremely distant or aloof, nor too familiar and friendly to be respected and honored.  Giving in to a child's fancy only lowers that child's respect for the parent, and in time, this will pay its own painful dividends.  Eventually the parent must say no and reject the desires of the child that has increasingly become worldly and at that time the child will simply, "unfriend" the parent like they would any other friend that insults them.   


So what are modern parents to do?  First we must truly weep for our children, for their souls and their salvation!  We must accept that we are called to raise up holy children for God and to give them a fighting chance of spiritual survival.  Until we gather up enough courage to fight the onslaught of immodest fashions, evil entertainment, and mindless technology, we will always fall into the trap of "giving in" to the modern evils that are constantly knocking on our homes door.  Once we have finally done this, we can begin to look for ways to encourage true Catholic culture in our homes.  This may mean changing dress code, throwing out the tv and video games, embracing the practical skills of homemaking and homesteading, fostering hands-on skills such as hunting, fishing, and woodworking, and developing a rich liturgical life with all its feasts, fasting, prayers, and rituals.  Our Catholic faith is the true antidote to the modern mess we find ourselves in, as Belloc observed even in his day, "Our generation lives in a world where Catholicism is the sole surviving positive force."