The old Funk and Wagnalls Practical Standard dictionary defines "patriarchy" in the following way, "the head of a family, the chief of a tribe who rules by paternal right; a venerable man..."
Dr. G. C. Dilsaver, in the introduction to his book on manhood states, "Christian patriarchy is a call to service and love....the authentic Christian patriarch must constantly die to himself, that is, constantly do violence to his pride and self-love: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it" (Eph 5:25)."
Thus to be a Christian patriarch in the family is to be a "venerable man" and live a life of service and sacrifice for one's bride and one's family. This is in total contradiction to the brute force of the pagan abusive husband that "puts his wife in her place" as well as contradicting the lazy and childish attitude that places all leadership of the family in the mother's lap. To be a true patriarch, the man must accept his mantle of leadership that is bestowed on him by God and live the calling to service and sacrifice. In this way, man truly develops his three part office of priest, prophet and king.